My Fuckin Anger.

[MISFlT]

im so fuckin angry, one person holds my entire attention of hate. Want to know the depth of my anger? This person I hate, with everyone fucken shred of my being, I want to hold em down with my fingers digging deep into their throat squeezing harder, and harder till theres no life in those eyes I hate so fucken much, i want to get a knife and rip into theyre stomach and guts and pull everything out and smash each piece of there insides against the wall and stomp it, Ill punch theyre face in and break everybone in theyre face still my knuckles are raw and im out of energy, ill rip everypiece of hair from there head in fist full of clumps, get a hammer and bash there face in, stomp theyre face till its an unrecognizable puddle of gray matter and blood. ill get an ax and dismember every appendage, set fire to the body and watch the funeral pyre for this bitch motherfucker whos crossed me so many times, sneered at me since they knew i couldnt do a thing, and felt the self satisfaction of seeing me grovel since they were older then me. FUCK YOU, WHAT NOW MOTHER FUCKER, YOUR FUCKEN DEAD! I FUCKEN HATE YOU.

this ofcourse if but a mere fantasy..... at the moment.

i am the calmest person you might have ever seen. I can take getting yelled at, bitch, complained, dissed, mocked with a calm face. That doesnt mean I dont feel it. I bottle every single negative feeling away so I can appear the non chalent person who can calmly make decisions. But with no vent, its only a matter of time before. Ka-Fucking-Boom. At this house I live in theres no way I can vent at all. Always with the constant threat of me getting kicked out, I would have no problem but I would lose my girlfriend and Im not willing to lose her. If I say the slightest word of curse such as fuck, bitch, asshole. I get in so much trouble. Pretty fuckin gay considering Im 18. If I hit a wall, break something. Im done. So what the fuck? I cant do this anywhere. I dont have a gym membership to work out this negative feelings, My emotions are numbed so I cant cry out in anger, all i can be is happy, and angry, sad is long gone from me, I will get kicked if I cause any more injuries on the football team, and I cant feel this depth of anger unless Im around this.... person. This person is. WHAT? its not a man, and its not my mom, its my gaurdians roommate.

Bitch. Cross me one more time and get me to this level of anger... and your blood will stain these walls...

I am angry, yet I am comprehensive enough to establish my feelings on this. Would get quite funny when I read this after I calm down... But at this moment. these are my exact feelings.

[MISFlT]

this is my place to fuckin rant, and now that i read this the next day. i seem to be a wee bit psycho

[ItsAPoorlyKeptSecret]

maybe you should take up running since a dont have a gym membership. its free and could be something to project your anger into

but i totally understand where your coming from, not the same imagination but something close haha. so guess i am psycho too but who isnt!

[ramalamafafafa]

I generaly smoke to cure that sort of shit........

[BadKarma..]

hmm

does the roomate have a boyfriend?

if so, grab a skimask, beat the piss out of him- similar to your pshycotic ravings, btu make sure he lives! he can put the message thru. leave no evidence you did the crime. sure you have motivation to do it, but dont get caught doing it.

but no, noones perfect. everyone goes thru varying degrees of hate such as yours now and again. i get awy with hitting and breaking shit... and fighting here and there

[ItsAPoorlyKeptSecret]

haha i love the tags so opposite of this

and yea i agree i tend to smoke more when i get angry cause its calms me and makes me give less a shit bout crap when i have more happy times to think about anyways well not really but they are just more better to spend my time and energy thinkin bout

[ramalamafafafa]

I just smoke alot.......

[BadKarma..]

meh. im too cheap and lazy to smoke haha

[ramalamafafafa]

See, im proactive with my strees management...... I mask my bitterness with cheap, addictive over the counter Benson and Hedges.......

[ItsAPoorlyKeptSecret]

oh i well i meant smoke as in weed i dont smoke cigerattes.....anymore....kay not really......one every 6 months....maybe