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Top 5 things in Porn that annoys me

Zamato Elite — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 18:35:59 GMT

Ever watch a porno and everything was just perfect, well, except for maybe one or two things. Did those two things just completely ruin the porno for you? Well if you answered yes, then congratulations, this post is for you! In this post, I will list the top 5 ways to ruin a porno! Enjoy.

#5: Horrible Blow jobs

Honestly, blow jobs aren't that hard. All you have to do is put the fucking dick in your mouth and suck. Maybe incorporate a few flashy tongue tricks from time to time. It really is that easy. In many pornos, some girls just can't handle it. They give that grossed out gagging look once they put the dick in their mouth. That expression is an instant deal breaker for me. -"GIRL, you're in a fucking porno! Sucking dick should not be gross to you!!!"- Another thing that annoys me is the "bobber" blowjob. That is the type of blowjob where the girl just sticks the dick in her mouth and just bobbes her head up and down. First of all, those blow jobs don't feel good at all. They feel like nothing actually. Secondly, they are *****g as fuck. -"You are in a porno, entertain me god dammit. Show us some confidence and some cool tricks."-

#4: The Lazy Guy

I fucking hate this more then anything!!! The guy who just sits their while the girl is desperately trying to fuck him. -"Here is a fucking tip: Actually put some effort into your god damn job! FUCK THE GIRL!! Don't just sit there on your fat lazy ass while the girl desperately tries create friction between you and your puny little dick. You have to actually move to! I know sorry, you have to do work! I'm so sorry!"-

#3: The Ugly Penis

When I watch porn, I usually am paying more attention to the girl then the guy. But sometimes the guy is so fucking weird I can't help but critique him. One thing that annoys me to no end, is a small or deformed penis. -"Here is an idea: if you don't have a good looking dick, THEN DON'T GET INTO PORN!!!"- I absolutely hate it when the girl is fantastic looking, she is horny, ready to go, and the guy then whips out his puny little 4 incher cock. -"How is the girl going to do anything interesting with a fucking 4 incher?!1 Here is the answer: SHE CAN'T!!! If you dick is small or just fucking ugly, don't enter porn. You detract me from the fucking girl!!!!"-

#2: Blatantly Fake Orgasm

Most girls (And porn stars apparently) have this incredibly deluded notion that guys can't tell when girls are faking or legitimately having an orgasm. I'll be honest, most girls can fool me pretty well, but sometimes it get's to a point where you are obviously faking. In porn, most of the orgasms are so obviously faked it really really takes away from the experience. I mean, honestly, how stupid do you think we are? The second the penis enters your vagina, I doubt you are going to be instantly screaming and twitching in "beautiful agony." In my opinion, obviously fake orgasms take so much away from the porno. Real orgasms give the porno a more genuine feel, which makes the fantasy portrayed more realistic and believable. -"I'll even make a deal with you: You can fake your orgasms if you must, but for the love of god, please fake them well! Don't make it so obvious that you are a fake no talent cunt. At least try to hide it a little."-

#1: The Guy Who Won't Shut the Fuck up!!!

This is my number one pet peeve. The guy who doesn't stop talking; to the point where he is annoying and distracting. I only like pornos where the guy shuts the fuck up and let's the girl do the talking. Especially in POV movies. The point of POV is to give the illusion that the girl is actually fucking you. When you have a guy blabbering his mouth the whole time, it really really takes away from the experience. Don't get me wrong, he can talk from time to time. Dirty talk is always welcome, but not every other second. Just shut the hell up and let the girl do the talking. Girls talking dirty in a porno is great, very good, but the guy doing it... Not so great. Kinda creepy, and also borderline gay. -"So do me a favor, drop the attention seeking ego for 10 minutes while you fuck this girl, or I WILL turn this video off and look elsewhere. Thanks asshole!!!!"-

I hope you enjoyed this post. Of course there are other things that annoy me in a porno. One of many examples is poor audio quality and/or poor camera angles. Below, please tell me what you think and be sure to post your top 5 annoyances in pornos.

Sincerely,

Never mind me.

Zamato Elite — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 01:16:38 GMT

As some of you may recall, I have written quite a few posts for this section. Some of which include: "Sex is not that great", "Sex is not a big deal," and I have debated frequently on the subject of love with many users on this site.

Well, I ask you to discard of my old posts. I just found out today from my psychiatrist I am asexual. This explains my negative views towards sex and woman. For an asexual, sex sucks and girls are not that great.

EDIT: Recently I found out that I am in fact NOT asexual. I do have attractions for women, however, my sex drive is very low.

Obama better not touch my guns.

Zamato Elite — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 08:36:20 GMT

That Big-Government Commie better not touch my guns. There is rumor that he has legislation on the table to ban the AR-15. This should be a concern to every freedom loving Patriot.

As well all know (Or should know), the first ten amendments to the constitution are """RIGHTS""" bestowed to us from our creator. The government cannot infringe upon these rights or it is acting under treason. YOU DO NOT NEED TO REGISTER YOUR GUNS, AND YOU DON'T NEED A PERMIT TO CARRY. Gun registration and permits are unconstitutional.

Sorry Anti-Gun sheep, the 2nd amendment is here to stay. Get over it, and if you don't like it, then move to North Korea. They'll love you over there.

COD: World at War...horrible

Zamato Elite — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 06:03:37 GMT

Let's talk about WaW for a second. I would first like to state the game is seriously overrated. It is not NEARLY as good as COD4. All I hear is these dumb asses repeating the same bullshit "it's just like cod4 blah blah im a nigger blah blah." Here is the fact, the game is not nearly as good as COD4. WaW is seriously unrefined and is suffering from extreme balancing issues. If I get killed by that MP40 one more time, I'm going to go on a rampage via IRL.

The bounding Beddies are prob the most retarded thing of WaW. You can never see the fucking things, and they are so annoying bc fagz will spam that shit out of them. They seriously ruin the game.

Another thing about Waw that pisses me off is the mother fucking spawns. The faggot game keeps spawning faggot n00bz right behind me. Then they just pull the trigger and kill my instantly. Also, the faggot game likes to spawn me right in front of a guy. I just fucking love it!!!!!111

The last thing about Waw that sucks cock is the fucking health. There is no health in this game. The faggot MP40 killz me before my brain can process what the fuck is going on.

Overall, Waw is just a COD4 wannabe, but fails on all fronts.

My review: 1/10

Airsoft?

Zamato Elite — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 01:53:26 GMT

Anyone play professional airsoft here? I'm not talking about that pussy 20 dollar airsoft crap you get from Dicks Sporting Goods. I'm talking about 500 dollar military simulation shit mutha fucka!

Fuck Gamespot

Zamato Elite — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 08:28:42 GMT

ROFL!!!! I got banned from Gamespot for using the word "Retard" in one of my posts.

Quote:

"The Xbox live avatar thing is a scam to fool retards into buying cloths and hair styles for their stupid characters."

Fucking thinned skinned queers running that communist site.

Favorite Type of Porn

Zamato Elite — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 07:05:00 GMT

What is your favorite and why?

Topic Recomendation

Zamato Elite — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 07:00:55 GMT

I think this site would benefit from a "Cars" section. I know I would be all over that section if it was created.

Thank you for you time.

Jesus Christ Superstar

Zamato Elite — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 18:31:04 GMT

is the best album ever written. Yes that's right, it beats Stairway to Heaven.

JCS is prob the only good thing ever to come from the UK.

Torrent: http://thepiratebay.org/torrent/3654...er_Disc_24_Kar

CD: Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice - Jesus Christ Superstar - A Rock Opera CD 1

01. Overture [0:03:59.48]
02. Heaven On Their Minds [0:04:22.37]
03. What's The Buzz - Strange Thing Mystifying [0:04:13.65]
04. Everythings All Right [0:05:14.60]
05. This Jesus Must Die [0:03:34.43]
06. Hosanna [0:02:09.02]
07. Simon Zealotes - Poor Jerusalem [0:04:47.65]
08. Pilate's Dream [0:01:28.53]
09. The Temple [0:04:43.47]
10. Everything's Alright [0:00:29.08]
11. I Don't Know How To Love Him (reprise) [0:03:40.55]
12. Damned For All Time - Blood Money [0:05:11.00]

CD: Tim Rice and Andrew Lloyd Webber - Jesus Christ Superstar - A Rock Opera ?D 2

01. The Last Supper [0:07:08.73]
02. Gethsemane (I Only Want To Say) [0:05:33.45]
03. The Arrest [0:03:21.12]
04. Peter's Denial [0:01:28.20]
05. Pilate And Christ [0:02:43.68]
06. King Herod's Song (Try It And See) [0:03:02.47]
07. Judas' Death [0:04:15.28]
08. Trial Before Pilate (Including The 39 Lashes) [0:05:13.37]
09. Superstar [0:04:15.60]
10. Crucifixion [0:04:06.43]
11. John Nineteen Forty-One [0:02:08.65]

Fuck EA

Zamato Elite — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 05:21:42 GMT

Am I the only one here that wants to burn EA into the ground?

All of their shitty games are rushed. And isn't it funny to see all the effort they put into their marketing, while completely neglecting the game's quality?!

I have 2 fine examples:

1.Battlefield Bad Company: It's an OK game, but was obviously rushed. The mutiplayer is unrefined and the classes are not balanced. The Support Class is way to OP, and the Sniper is way too crappy. The singly player is worthless garbage. Yet, if you take a look at the Battlefield commercials, they appear to be incredibly refined and misleading. Another annoying thing about this game is how EA purposely took out blood so the game would be rated T. If the game held a M rating, it would be way better and add the realism the destructible environments and incredible sound effects helped create. Bad Company is a kid's game. It's for n00bs, simply because of it's unrefinement.

2. An even better example is Mercenaries 2. This game was OBVIOUSLY RUSHED. The whole game was littered with glitches and bugs. YET, EA obviously spend a shit load of time on that stupid television ad. They even made a little video on how they made the ad. EA, no one gives a fuck about the ad. We care about the quality of the game. We know you are rushing your developers to finish the games earlier so you can save money and turn over a larger profit. I have you know, by doing this, you are literally destroying the gaming industry. An even larger disgrace is your withdrawal from E3. What the fuck?

FUCK EA. I refuse to buy any more of their games unless they change management and start caring about the consumer.

The Secret 2 Highschool Dating!

Zamato Elite — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 05:06:29 GMT

Don't do it!!!

High school relationships are extre***y retarded and pointless. Nearly every single one follows the same pattern (As displayed below). What puzzles me is peoples' reactions when they finally breakup. Did you honestly think you're little socially conforming "relationship" was going to last?

ENTERPHASE:

1. You meet a girl or guy who is physically hawt.

2. Then you make attempts to grab his or her attention. These attempts may include acting like a complete and total douche in front of your friends, or acting like an attention seeking clown in class.

3. You start talking on AIM or IRL. You get to know each other under the status of "friendship" even though you both want to fuck the living daylights out of each other. As long as the personality is bearable, you will proceed with the relationship.

4. The guy MUST ask out the girl via IRL or it is considered "weird." If the girl asks out the guy; well then the sun will implode and bring an end to our galaxy. <--Do not attempt!!!!1

5. You think you have found the most AMAZING person evar! You feel this tinging sensation inside you that you call "love" (When in reality that's just hormones stimulating your body). You think this is going to be the most amazing thing evar, and your going to get married and spend the rest of your life with this person. You think about him or her 24/7 and fantasize things that your pastor wouldn't approve of.

SEX PHASE:

6. ***Must kiss first week, or U WILL BE subject to social ridicule.***

7. Must wait at least a month before you can say "I love you." If you say it too early, then you come across as "weird" and "stalkerish." Hilariously enough, both partners have been experiencing this thing tingling sensation called "love", but they just can't make it public, for some odd reason.

8. Now it's the home stretch. You have passed all clearances and now you're objective is sex. Deep inside, both partners want to fuck each other, but thanks to social expectations, the girl will be a prude so she doesn't have to deal with the insults "you're a hoe" from all of her jealous cunty friends.

9. Eventually, one day while your making out one of you or her/him will make the move and you'll both conform (Unless the girl is a prude). You'll fuck each other using any variation desired. Usually hand jobs and oral come before intercourse. Depends on how bitchy the girl is, or how faggy the guy is.

10.* This can occur before or after and step listed above.* This is the stage that will inevitably come. It comes nearly 99.9% of time, yet every time, we all act surprised when it does. We begin to see personality and physical flaws in your partner. We grow annoyed by these flaws, and then enter the break up phase.

BREAK UP PHASE:

11. You find a problem with your parter and you go around asking your friends "what should I do?!?! What should I do!?!?!" Even though the answer to the question is blatantly obvious. Just fucking break up with the bitch! But no no no. That would make too much fucking sense. We would rather prolong our suffering even though the escape key is dangling right in our grasp.

12. You get all depressed and stressed over the issue. You began to avoid your partner when available. You feel your life is coming to an end, and there is no hope left!!! The sky is falling! Korea is launching nuclear bombs into China!!11 <--Actually doesn't sound too bad come to think of it

13. You eventually grow some balls the cut if off (Break up), that is, unless you partner hasn't done so first.

14. You're sad for about a week, then you get over it and return to Step 1.

There you go my friends. The cycle of the high school relationship. As you can see, it is filled with social expectations and codes. There is no true sense of bonding or co-individuality. It's a mess pool off torture and stress. Very few of them end on good terms, which leaves you with an annoying pain in the ass Ex for the rest of your high school career.

Now let me close by saying, not all relationships will follow this system exactly. Some may pose some features not listed, but at core, they will follow my diagram. Some will include the rare occurrences of death, or cheating. Even worst, some never end! Partners may go on to get married, which will leave them in an eternal bondage of suffering and torment. Haha, then wait for the kids to arrive. Good mother fucking luck.

-The Following was a Zamato Elite Production-

Sex is not a big deal

Zamato Elite — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 20:40:43 GMT

Question: Do you know what really really pisses off Zamato Elite?

Answer: These retarded drama queens who think sex is a massive deal. This is mostly common amongst the extre***y religious in this country (USA), but can be found in all cultures.

We view sex as this massive big deal, when in reality, it's far from that. Proponents of the "sex is a big deal" theory like to claim sexual acts somehow require something called "commitment" and "love". Sexual intercourse or any other sexual act for that matter, is very simple. For the sake of clarity, I have outlined all the different sexual acts and tell you about them while cutting out the fantasy bullshit:

Oral (Blow-jobs, Eating out, ect.): No love or commitment needed to be present for this act. All you do is take your mouth and use it to stimulate the nerve endings on your partner's (or your own if your blessed) sexual reproductive organs. The only thing that should be present is a unwritten or written agreement that claims "you nor I contain any sort of STDs that can be transmitted."

Anal: Anal can take place between a male and a female, male and a male (Most common), or even a female and a female (if a strap-on is applied). No commitment or love is required. Anal sex has the soul intention of pleasuring the prostate glad inside the anal cavity. For some people, stimulation to the prostate gland can be very pleasuring and may heighten orgasm intensity significantly.

Sexual Intercourse: This is the one sexual act that Christian-Loons and other media deluded morons claim to require -all the planets in the solar system must align, the seas must turn to wine, and pigs must take flight!-, in other words, it's a big deal. Don't get me wrong, sexual intercourse carries a good amount of liability. If fucked up, you could find yourself with a little kid. But, I fail to see why sex is such a massive deal to some people. There is no "magic" or supernatural events occurring during sexual intercourse. It simply put: the mutual stimulation of the G-Spot for females and the penis for males. The back and forth motion manually applied during intercourse creates friction, which then stimulates nerve endings scattered throughout our "special parts". There is nothing more to it!

Continued...It's amazing to see people in the 21st century still hold on to fairy tales and false stigmas from ancient cultures. Of course ancient cultures viewed sex as a holy and eventful act! They used "god" as the filler for what ever they didn't know. It's time to grow up people and come to terms with reality! Sex, what ever variation it may be, is not a HUGE DEAL! It's a simple act humans perform in order to make themselves (and others) feel good. Nothing more too it folks. Nada. None!

This all said, It amuses me greatly to see parents delude their kids with the typical bullshit mantra "sex is a special act a male and a female perform when they are in love with each other." These same people have forced a failed sexual education system on our youth that has consumed BILLIONS of dollars of OUR tax money.

So in conclusion, I'm going to be honest with my kids. I'm going to tell them straight up: "Sex is normal, it's not a big deal, however, it does carry a large liability. So be sure to take your precussions, and remember son, have fun. wink* pat on the head*). I truly believe, once people drop this 3rd century B.C.E mindset around sex, our sex culture in the USA will be pretty hackin' awesome.

Alright guys, you know the drill. Tell me how great I am in your comments.

Sex is stupid.

Zamato Elite — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 22:15:09 GMT

Sexual intercourse is for n00bs. I have outsmarted sexual intercourse, as this post will clearly display...

The only point of sexual intercourse it to A) Reproduce, or B) Receive physical pleasure. Not many of us have sex for the intention of reproduction, so it's a safe bet to claim most of us have sex for the physical gratification.

This established, I fail to see any reason for interaction with the opposite sex in hopes of sexual activity. I find masturbation to be far more efficient, both time wise and quality wise.

Having sex with a girl or guy is the biggest scam on earth. It sounds great in your mind, but in action, it is always is sub-par. After every sexual experience I have ever had, I have always been disappointed. Why? BECAUSE I'M HONEST.

We hype sex up to be this major even in our lives, but it really isn't. It's a small thing that losers prop up to boost their overall moral and self worth. So money or love? I'll take it in check please, a ferrari is far more enjoyable then sticking my dick in a girl and receiving sub par orgasm.

So, we can all agree I'm a genius who has outsmarted sexual reproduction. You may leave your praise below commemorating me for my immense intellectual prowess. Thank you, and I look forward to reading your comments about how amazing I am.

Hang in there guys...

Zamato Elite — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 06:33:55 GMT

It's ok my fellow Americans.

Let's put this whole event into perspective. Only 4 years of Obama. Only 4. I think we can manage 4 years of abysmal leadership. Even worser leadership then that of George Bush.

After this 4 years has past, and the blacks get over the fact that one of their kind was elected, we can put a REAL candidate in office. I speak of Ron Paul my friends.

Just 4 more years. Just suck it up and pray that the American people vote RP into office next election cycle. YES WE CAN!

A New Earth

Zamato Elite — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 22:38:23 GMT

One of the best books I have ever read. A MANDATORY read for anyone looking to get the most out of life.

Author's website: http://eckharttolle.com/a_new_earth
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/New-Earth-Awak.../dp/0452289963

Obama is a joke....

Zamato Elite — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 03:10:19 GMT

Anyone who honestly thinks Obama isn't George Bush is a product of the Zionist controlled Propaganda Machine (I.E. the liberal media).

First of all, Obama isn't going to do anything different from what Bush has been doing concerning foreign policy. Both Democrats and Republicans are dick suckers of the Israel Lobby. FUCK ISREAL! Israel is the reason we were attacked on 9/11, and it will be the reason why we will go to war with Iran and Pakistan. Don't listen to the Propaganda Machines try to convince you supporting Israel is "patriotic" or an "american thing to do." Israel is a corrupt nation that brutalizes it's people and manipulated the USA into doing it's global imperialistic bidding.

Concerning the economy. Both are the same. Playing around with the tax rates only within 10% won't do shit for the economy. These middle class whiner's life will be no better or worst because they are receiving a couple hundred more bucks in tax breaks. Both McCain and Obama aren't doing anything about what really matters: Out of control spending and the antibusiness environment the USA has. Both McCain and Obama are practically the same on the economy, despite what the Jews say.

Finally, leadership qualifications. Both candidates are puppets of people behind the scenes. This was clearly shown at the presidential debates. Neither Obama nor McCain had a fucking clue what they were talking about! They both were reciting their bullshit que-cards they spend months memorizing. Both McCain and Obama are gimmicks. The jews have propped up Obama as being this "innocent fresh politician fighting for the people (HAHA what a crock of shit)", and Mccain as this "patriotic soldier who has always been fighting for his country!" BULLSHIT!! They both are retards. I don't care where the fuckers went to school, they are clearly retarded.

My friends, wake the fuck up. Both of these candidates are a complete and total joke. Not even third party is good this year! Nader is garbage and Baldwin is decent. We should have elected Ron Paul when we had the chance. He has demonstrated he knows what the fuck he is talking about. Well, it's to late now. Get ready for another 4-8 years of Bush, no matter who is elected.

In closing, don't listen to the Zionist media. Wake the fuck up and realize that they are the ones having the last laugh. As the Zionist Media tells us, "You should vote for the candidate who is the lease worst." You know what I say, BULLSHIT. I'll vote for the candidate who is the most BEST. RON PAUL 08'

Freedom first, country second.* <--What Mctarded's campaign slogan should be

I return from a long break...WOW

Zamato Elite — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 05:06:42 GMT

I took about a year off (Or around that long) from this site. I used to be a pretty big poster when this forum was just starting off.

I am amazed how much this site has changed! I remember it being a plain, dull, white layout. Now it's all....awesome.

Can't wait to start posting.

Peace, Zamato