♠♠Poem thread♠♠

[babybitch]

nice hun.....dats great let me tell ya....lol smile smile.....

[Clayris]

A jade elephant

A gift to me from one above, Not no god yet a soul, a soul of one I once loved....A little jade Elephant A good luck charm, sits in my room, untouched, A gift to me from one above, my little Jade Elephant sitting be for my eyes, Seeing his face once again shine In thoughs green eyes, A gift to him the one I still love, It will stay untouched for century's to come...

[charlee]

party hard, rock and roll, smoke a 40, drink a bowl

[tmz]

you have some intense shit there =]

the one in pink is the best in my opinion cos it's not overly emotional and has some good imagery.

the first stanza of the first poem you posted is also really well done. second stanza's good too, but the rhythm of the first stanza is more intriguing and it has an appealing flow.

the second poem is more of just a rage outlet. liek a good journal entry and it prolly allowed you to let off some stream. but in terms of literature, not very appealing.

if you keep writing you'll find you'll develop a sense of athstetics. Like you'll notice that the format of a stanza as well as the positioning of words can further portray the message and mood you intended.

i don't write anymore cos i decided i hate it but here's the most recent one. it's abstract as fuck and i have no idea what its about. but i'll post it anyway.

The smoke of a fresh-lit cigarette
Mimics the heat of his breath
Pressed against my lips.
But imitations never come close to the original...

What we do and what we know
Haunts our individual
Hearts;
Consumes our confidential
Minds;
Shine a bright potential
In our eyes.


In times like these,
The future can hold us together.

have a nice day =]

[tmz]

Originally Posted by charlee

party hard, rock and roll, smoke a 40, drink a bowl

ahahaha
thats awesome

[Wolkkkk]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
My balls hurt like hell
I just took the biggest dumb ever
Oh well...
We ain`t gonna live forever

[Wolkkkk]

Arthur Rimbaud rules

[gheox]

are u emo ?

[charlee]

Are,You,A,Gay,Ox

[gheox]

blow me shitlee