Anybody remember that "Car Murder List" or whatever the fuck it was called? This dueschebag has been asking for his car to be fucked up all week. Come tuesday, that bitch is going down.

First option was: spray paint a giant black cock on his windshield. Of course, I would need to put in all the veins and pubes and shit, but I'm worried it might take too long.

Cuz im kinda hesitating to do that one, I was thinking of the birdseed one.

For any noobs that dont know, supposedly you put birdseed on a car and all the birds come and eat the birdseed. When they eat it, they also peck the shit out of it and the hood is pretty much fucked up afterward.

Of those who have done it, how well has it worked? Is it kinda obvious, cuz I dont imagine somebody carrying a huge bag of birdseed being discreet.

I'm asking cuz I dont want to look like a dumbass pouring 20 lbs. of birdseed out on someones hood and then nothing happening to the car. It's also a waste of money.

id go with the spraypaint. or mabe a fork across the side...
paint thinner would be good too. just brush it on.

Birdseed:
Reasons this will work: Birds dig into the surface just a bit when the peck. The bigger the bird, the further they go into the surface that the food is on. Try to keep the layer of bird food as small as you can get or it will take longer for the birds to get the birds to nick the paint with their beaks. If you put a thin layer of peanut-butter on before the birdseed, it will stick a lot better.

Reasons this won't work: Lack of birds = longer time until there is significant damage. Small birds will probably not make any significant dents and for the damage done, you will look like a retard. If you get a bunch of larger birds, they will start to scratch the paint. You get bigger birds like a flock of ravens an hour with bird feed on the car and that car will be fucked. Unless there are birds watching you do this, it will take a long time to do this and will draw quite a bit of attention. If you are thinking of doing this in a school parking lot, whom ever owns the car will know quite quickly what has been done to their car. Also, the birdseed can roll harmlessly off if there is a decent wind out. If anyone comes across a car with many birds pecking at it, they might try to shoo them away.

Probably would be better to do the spray paint seeing as birdseed will take at least a half hour at optimal conditions and several hours if not. Spray paint is also a guarantee that you will get damage done, but with birdseed, you also have the chance to put hundreds of small dents on the car instead of just fucking with the paint job. Birdseed also looks retarded if you are caught spreading it on the car where as spray paint is redeemable, but more severely punished. Also, birdseed cannot be deployed at night unless the car is to be left unsupervised (completely) until probably midday or evening when the bigger birds become active, where as with spray paint, it can be done at anytime.

Why not put paint thinner or something in a spray bottle and hose it while walking past?

Just hit it a few times with a bat. Would be under a minute to do.

now that is what i was saying. it would bubble the paint.

Bologna always removes paint, if you can't get paint thinner/don't want to remove ALL of the paint from his car. Just make "giant cocks" and stuff. Lol.

You could always egg his car, but be sure to used deviled eggs. Shows you put some time and effort into it. (Plus the mayo can't be good for the paint)

Or egg their car with lady eggs.

That would really confuse them.