you could be blunt and pour denatured alcohol down their throat.. yeah, that'd do the trick, that makes you vomit something fierce... possibly evaporate this with dry ice, and you could have some nasty shit, or you could be a maniac and just split salt water and get sodium hydroxide and chlorine gas... but thats not funny now is it?

No, you get Chlorine gas, mustard gas is when sulphur is present in the mix.

Actually you get a mixture of n-chloramines.

'mustard gas' is a rather generalised term, if you're referring to agent HD, or clean-ish distilled sulfur mustard then it will take a lot more then just throwing together ammonia, bleach and sulfur...

Just go buy some Zyclon B you mother lover. Jeeze nothing in this business is "simple" or "easy"

if you mix to elements like ammonia and chlorine you cant get some spontanious formation of nitrogen.
if you have taken like a semester of chem. you should know that

... Ammonia contains nitrogen, dumbass.

can't u make chlorine gas with the right mixture of draino and bleach? or is it something else that comes outta that?

mustard gas or something of the sort is bleach and ammonia. thats what they used in like world war two.