♠♠Poem thread♠♠

[babybitch]

iight im told i can write but i want to know what you guys think....

Cold skin
and bright bold eyes
with a mysterous beauty
and an unknown power
fangs sharp and pionted
and a heart thats cold
A sense of the world known only to a few
And a life controled by the moon
Yet completly free
And to die by only a haters hands
Feeding on those who wish us life
And going through time without a care
What we are few will know
And to those we trust we are known as friends.

this is another

Emotions of anger and pain is what i feel
Blood and tears is how i deal
One day ill do it and you'll be the cause
Of a lifeless body and the blood my knife draws
You wont be able to blame me anymore
There wont be anything but my lifeless core
A puddel of blood and a red stained blade
Youll never know the monster youve made
Once im gone your life will be great
And ill have met death my fate


tehe tell me what u tink.....please

[babybitch]

Do you know what i wish
I wish to kill you slowly and painfully
I wish to hear you cry and beg for your life
I wish to see your tears and blood flow as one
Guess what i want
I want you to know the pain you made me feel
I want your life to be hell ad you've made mine
I want you to wish to die just as i have
What would make me happy
To know i ruiend your life
To know how much you wish to die
To know that im the reason you've lost your mind
"Why do you hate me" you ask
Becuz you try to control my entire life and every thing i do
Bcuz you force your religion down my throat
Bcuz you try and make me someting im not
Im Sick of IT!!
Sick off all the verbal abuse
Sick of all the fucking lieing
Sick of all the back stabbing and being CON-FUCKING-FUSED
Your the reason
The reason i daily wish to die
The reason i hate being on this fucking rock you call earth
The reason i've so much blood and tears
I really want to do it!!
Want to slice my wrists in front of your face
Want to make you watch the blood slowly leave my body
Want to make you listen to all the reasons why i HATE you
ALL THAT IM TRYING TO SAY IS
I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!!!

[babybitch]

A goodnight kiss
For you and me
As your body mist covers thee

I look at your face
And i see the pain
As i quicken the pace
To make it better again

Your warmth washes over me
With you my life my life is a song
Your love a spell that entances thee
With you icant go wrong

[Ganja101]

good but what i always do is try to incorporate vocabualary(spl?) because with certain words you can better describeput your emotions on paper. And writing about cutting yourself is your thing but not many other people will like it. Straight up put the emotion on paper even if its pain, describe it and not cutting yourself and you will get a better response but yea your poem was straight

[Ganja101]

good but what i always do is try to incorporate vocabualary(spl?) because with certain words you can better describeput your emotions on paper. And writing about cutting yourself is your thing but not many other people will like it. Straight up put the emotion on paper even if its pain, describe it and not cutting yourself and you will get a better response but yea your poem was straight also dont use words more than once cuz it get repetative. thats about all i know cuz i dont really write i just put that shit on paper and call it a day

[oxyG]

good but what i always do is try to incorporate vocabualary(spl?) because with certain words you can better describeput your emotions on paper. And writing about cutting yourself is your thing but not many other people will like it. Straight up put the emotion on paper even if its pain, describe it and not cutting yourself and you will get a better response but yea your poem was straight

ganja, do you write poetry for other people or for yourself? hmm

i dont write poetry, and im no expert on it, but im pretty sure its from the heart what you feel..who gives a shit what other people like or dislike

[[ g h o s t ]]

emo teen posts poem
trite, poorly written rubbish
mocked mercilessly

[LNT-5265F]

my favorite poem:

Even knowing you exist
Makes me want to slit my wrist

- The Del Strangefish Inexperience

[babybitch]

for those of you that actually offer advice thanks bunches.....lol

[SuperSkunk]

This is the only poem I know and I've allready posted it somewhere else

Strip club
Strip club
Where are thy?

Strip club
Strip club
Shoot jizz in my eye

[babybitch]

nice hun.....dats great let me tell ya....lol smile smile.....

[Clayris]

A jade elephant

A gift to me from one above, Not no god yet a soul, a soul of one I once loved....A little jade Elephant A good luck charm, sits in my room, untouched, A gift to me from one above, my little Jade Elephant sitting be for my eyes, Seeing his face once again shine In thoughs green eyes, A gift to him the one I still love, It will stay untouched for century's to come...

[charlee]

party hard, rock and roll, smoke a 40, drink a bowl

[tmz]

you have some intense shit there =]

the one in pink is the best in my opinion cos it's not overly emotional and has some good imagery.

the first stanza of the first poem you posted is also really well done. second stanza's good too, but the rhythm of the first stanza is more intriguing and it has an appealing flow.

the second poem is more of just a rage outlet. liek a good journal entry and it prolly allowed you to let off some stream. but in terms of literature, not very appealing.

if you keep writing you'll find you'll develop a sense of athstetics. Like you'll notice that the format of a stanza as well as the positioning of words can further portray the message and mood you intended.

i don't write anymore cos i decided i hate it but here's the most recent one. it's abstract as fuck and i have no idea what its about. but i'll post it anyway.

The smoke of a fresh-lit cigarette
Mimics the heat of his breath
Pressed against my lips.
But imitations never come close to the original...

What we do and what we know
Haunts our individual
Hearts;
Consumes our confidential
Minds;
Shine a bright potential
In our eyes.


In times like these,
The future can hold us together.



have a nice day =]

[tmz]

party hard, rock and roll, smoke a 40, drink a bowl
ahahaha
thats awesome

[Wolkkkk]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
My balls hurt like hell
I just took the biggest dumb ever
Oh well...
We ain`t gonna live forever

[Wolkkkk]

Arthur Rimbaud rules

[gheox]

are u emo ?

[charlee]

Are,You,A,Gay,Ox

[gheox]

blow me shitlee