Apology Essay/Letter Ideas

[justforlolz]

We've all been in the situation where you've pissed off the teacher to the extent that they give you the most pointless punishment there is:
the apology letter. It also happens to be the one with the most potential for piss takery, since the teacher will NEVER read the whole thing.

Anyone have any good ideas/anecdotes?

[sylvanarchy]

Dear Teacher,

You're an asshole. I'm sorry for the fact that you're a pedophile.

With all of my love,
Student.

[BabyDinosaur]

dear teacher,

its not me its you,
your a dick,
hope you like my final haiku,
its all you taught me.

sincerly student

[Deadorburied]

Sie sind ein Affe
Mit freundlichen Grüßen, Student