revival of the literature forum,

[ravenscar]

i will revive this thread with a dedication to short stories,starting with one of charlees that he needs to finish:

Dude, wake the fuck up"

"5 more minutes"

Exial: Infidel, the fr*dge is empty, the girls are gone, there isn't an ounce of crown royal left, and i cant find the bong, get your ass up.

*Hungover as fuck CharLee Stumbles over to the bathroom to drain his main vein, after which he stubs his toe on what seems to be a brick with a note tied to it surround by much broken glass*

CharLee - "EXIAL!! YOUR BABIES MOMMA KNOWS WHERE WE'RE AT!!!"

Exial - "HOWS THAT?"

CharLee - "SHE LEFT A MESSAGE TIED TO A BRICK"

Exial - "WHAT DOES IT SAY"

CharLee - *under his breath* "If ever you wish to see your bong again be at the park at 3:00 sharp and dont be late"

Exial - Well what does it fuckin say

Charlee - they have our bong. we must go to the park at 3:00

exial - so be it

*3:00 comes and they arrive at the park on time, A man in a dark trench coat approaches them*

Man - *in a high voice, almost young sounding* are you the chosen ones?

exial - infidel, where is my bong!? i would of hit you already if i didnt think you might have it with you!

Man - I know where your bong is, and how you can retreive it

Charlee- you got about three seconds...

Man - My name is N0M4N, Your bong is located in fortress controlled owned and run buy the PASM, or the Parents Against Smoking Marijuana. It is heavily guarded and has an extre***y tight perimeter, most of the base is located underground.

Exial - and lemme guess, we have to go on some uber long adventure and fight our way to the extreme distant end of the fortress to retrieve our bong?

N0M4N - Precisely...

CharLee - Ughhh, hangover much. But ok, tis the only thing of value that i own and has been passed down to me, it must return unscathed. but what do you get out of this?

N0M4N - I was hoping you guys would smoke with me after...

Exial - Well make haste with directions and what not, and ill consider it.

* Blah BLah BLah They get there *

Now the entrance is lined with a super magnet that prevents any and all weapons from entering the fortress, these should suit you well * hands over what seem to be handles to some sort of sword like weapon* Now press the Button*

Shvvooomp

Exial - Holy shit! They're light sabers!
__________________

[charlee]

Nom4n- These weapons are made from a space age material, and are not at all metallic, you should be able to infiltrate this fortress without setting alarm to the guards, beware the guards will kill you on sight, use stealth agility and your intelligence.

CharLee: Alrighty then, shall we?

Exial: We Shall

The two hero's made there way to the entrance, after opening the hatch they found themselves in a long empty hallway.

Charlee takes a big wiff: My bong has been here, i can s***l the chronic resin inside of it.

At the end of the hallway was a small door.

Exial: Behind this door lies our enemies, they are the keepers of our bong, and i will have no mercy. Did you hear that? Charlee?

Charlee was already through the door, when exial entered the small room two guards lay slain in puddles of there own blood.

Exial: Nice Job

CharLee * Puff.... Puff* *cough cough* Here man hit this shit, it'll help you concentrate.

Exial: How can you be worried about smoking when are bong is in danger?

CharLee: I don't think its going anywhere soon...

Exial: Good Point *Takes a big drag*

Baked as shit, and fascinated by there weapons of, the two hero's push on into the fortress. They were faced with a dire situation, they were out numbered, but they had the element of surprise.

Exial: I have an idea!

Charlee: Whats that?

Exial: roll up and light a dubey.

Charlee: But we just smoked one!

Exial: INFIDEL! Use the joint to distract them!

CharLee: *looks at his bag of weed* Fuck im down to an eighter, Oh Well.

The joint was thrown behind the guards, and they took the bait accordingly, 2 guards escorted the evidence to the high ruler. Whilst this happened charlee and exial lept from the ceilings and decapitated the two remaining guards with swift percision.

CharLee: We are close, I can s***l him.

[ravenscar]

cant wait till its finished

[CriminalAnarchist]

hahahaha...i like this story :D

[ravenscar]

brought to the top, hduece post your story!!!!

[hdeuce]

Orly Ravenderp Can't Swim


By Hdeuce





It wasn't much of a morning. It had rained all night, and was just beginning to let up, as he walked outside he noticed that the worms had come up from underground and were gathered in puddles all down his driveway. "Ick fuckin disgusting why don't they just stay underground and die." he thought to himself. "Well, no matter I have to get to the bus stop before I miss my bus" Orly began to run down the street tiring and breathing heavy by the corner. "I really need to go on a diet." Once he made it to the bus stop Orly sat down against a tree so he could finish his math homework, forgetting that it had rained all night. Two other student had already been on the bus stop before he arrived, they walked up to him and asked what he was doing. "My math." he replied shortly, knowing this wouldn't end well for him. "Lemme see that!" the larger of the two kids barked as he grabbed Orly's paper crinkling it in the process. "What are you stupid? This was homwework, does this look like your home loser?" "Come on," said Orly "thats my math assignment
I need to turn it in." It was no use Orly wasn't going to finish his homework yet again. That was his plight, his most notable trait to anyone that met him. He never could do anything right. Everytime he tried to do antyhing, either through his own fault, or the fault of others he was unsuccessful. "This time, I'll have a decent excuse at least." Orly thought to himself.

Math class was second period, as soon as he entered his teacher asked him "Hey orly, did you do your assignment?". "No." he replied "But the kids on the b...." "I don't want to hear it. If you aren't even going to bother with my class you might as well not be here.", and with that Orly was given a pinkslip and sent down to the holding room. The teacher in the room greeted him as he entered "Back again Orly? What did you do this time?" "Nothing, I don't want to talk about it."
He stated matter-of-factly. "Fine. Then just sit down quietly over their and don't talk to the other students." Orly took his seat and shortly after felt something hit his back. He looked around and saw one of the other students in the room laughing not wanting to get the other student into trouble he whispered "hey man stop throwing shit at me." "Orly" snapped the teacher "I said quietly! No talking in the holding room." Orly shut up, until a few minutes later after being hit by a
few more wadded paper balls, and feeling a slobbery sticky spitwad hit him in the back of the neck he shouted, "Hey cut the shit man!!!" At this the teacher was infuriated "I said I wanted silence! You can't even behave in the holding room. Go down and talk to the principal I will send your second pinkslip down later.

By now, second period was ending and third was beginning. Study hall. "Fuck now I'm not gonna get shit done for tomorrow either wasting time in this goddamn principals office." About halfway through the period the principal called him into her office. After a lengthy discussion about Orly's seeming indifference to school work and behavioral policies he was told he would be serving a suspension for the rest of the week, and sent back to class. By the time he arrived
to study hall it was within minutes of the last bell and really accomplished absolutely nothing besides being the brunt of a few more spitwads.

Fourth period went realatively smoothly, it was chemistry, a subject Ravenderp enjoyed. He fancied himself as some sort of future terrorist, even believed that he had his own terrorist organization, labeled nightclan, which was being watched by the FBI. He always had questions for the teacher about which substances mixed together would create explosives. Smokebombs were his favorite. He actually made a few of those, realising there wasn't much danger in posessing or setting them off. Fortuanately, in spite of his delusions, Orly Ravenderp was just a scared, bullied, kid. He was very inquisitive with delusions of grandeur but was never successful in any of his endeavors. In any event, chemistry passed by without a hitch and other than the few kids taunting him for being so inquisitive Orly had a relatively good time in class. Next class was lunch. Orly never had money, but he sat and played Magic: The Gathering with a few kids for lunch period, before having to go to his fifth period Gym class.

Gym started off terribly as usual with students bullying him in the locker room about his tattered gym clothes and small stature. It was nothing unusual but after the morning he had had, it was beginning to wear on his nerves. Now Orly had told his gym teacher that he was unable to swim, but it didn't matter because they had been playing water volleyball in the shallow
end of the pool for most of the semester and today was going to be no different. As a favor to Orly, whom was ruthlessly picked on the gym teacher never informed the class of this. After changing in the locker room, the entire class was waiting by the pool for the teacher to come begin class. As they stood their a student began to taunt Orly again. He had had enough. "Leave me the fuck alone man, You're such a piece of shit. Your mother should have fuckin aborted you, you worthless fucktard." Orly screamed. "What?" asked the student whose friends called him Buddha due to his emmense size and round belly. "You can't be fucking talking to me you dickburglar." "I am asshole" said Orly. With that, Buddha Shoved Orly, he stumbled backwards, tripped over a buoy and fell backwards into the deep end of the pool. The students began to laugh unmercifully as Orly tried his hardest to dog paddle and began sucking water, "get out of the water you retard", one screamed, "ha hes such a fucking tool." taunted another. The gym teacher walked in as Orly stopped struggling. "Whose that in the water" the teacher asked "It's Orly", replied a student "hes being an idiot." with a note of somberness in his voice the gym teacher stated "Orly Ravenderp can't swim."
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[ItsAPoorlyKeptSecret]

haha charlee story is awesome..

[ravenscar]

when will he finish it?

[ItsAPoorlyKeptSecret]

I dont kno probably never, like me with my Turtle story.

[ravenscar]

finish it please? and post the first part?

[ItsAPoorlyKeptSecret]

Theres 2 parts and it felt like it was becoming work, maybe one day. I'll post it here tho. Just so that I have it in one place to look at and think of an ending.