Amphetamine Abuse

[tmz]

i feel the need to share this. because it's what happens when one disreguards drug safety and warning signs.

has anyone else experienced damage to their nasal passage/throat/tonsils/tongue from over using amphetamines? (or any other snorted drug?)

this is such an unhappy story....

about a month my whole mouth got a random viral infection. i got crazy ulcers in my mouth and my left tonsil actually got a small but visable hole in it, which has yet to heal. i ended up in the emergency room because it started spreading through my face and my tonsils were actually closing my throat. it sucked. i stopped smoking and snorting until the infection was gone.
it looked like this when it first kinda broke out:
http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y168/themagicalzish/2009_02260014.jpghttp://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y168/themagicalzish/aaaahhh.jpg

a week and a few days later, the infection was mostly gone, my tonsils were still mildly swollen, but whatever. i went back to my speed and two days into my speed binge the infection came back. so i quit again for like five days until it mostly went away. well thats brings the story to like yesterday when i blew 220mg of a provigil/adderall mix. it stung like a motherfucker. which was something new for me. when i went to check the inside of my nose to make sure nothing was visible, i noticed very raw looking tissue with some cuts in it. (for the record i lost a good portion of my nose hair a while ago). for some reason i brushed it off.

today, i made the good decision to blow 240 of the provigil/adderal mix. it hurt so fucking bad i actually winced and kinda screamed and my eyes watered for ten minutes. my throat/back of my mouth has been sore all day and look like hell. it looks kinda like i have a bad rug burn in my mouth. but with unhappy tonsils and small ulcers...

anyway, i'm quitting speed for good. it's gonna suck hardcore but i clearly have a problem. tips for beating amphetamine addiction would be loved <3.


moral of the story:
don't let this happen to you.
if you notice a sore throat after heavy powder snorting, recognize the problem and stop til your mouth heals up entirely. dont think itll go away fast cos it doesnt and its miserable.

i feel like a total idiot for getting to the point where the inside of the left side of ym nose is covered in scabs and i have a legit hole in my left tonsil. i ignored every possible warning sign that i was developing a severe addiction and totally let it take control of me. fucking hell.

[tmz]

fucking withdrawal.

[DontPanicItsOrganic]

I just warned a kid about this shit... sad that people would rather get high than keep their esophagus and nasal passages...

WHY DONT THESE DUMB FUCKS ASK FOR HELP OR AT THE VERY LEAST GOOGLE IT!!!

[DontPanicItsOrganic]

PS amphetamines are acidic and its vary unlikely for bacterial infection or even growth to start. in some cases like TMZ the bacteria can adapt pr other bacteria can invite itself into the oral region of the human body and make host.
The small cuts in the outer region by the uvula and soft palate are scratches from the drug in question (a speed mixture) when the drug/s dissolve it leaves space for myco/bio to reside and grow causing culture growth and manifestation.
Dont do unnatural drugs guys!!!!!!!

[drugfeind]

im sorry to say tmz.. but i doubt ull quit, no matter how hard you try. You might quit for a week maybe even a month but u WILL start again and when u do it will be with a powerful vengiance.

[tmz]

The small cuts in the outer region by the uvula and soft palate are scratches from the drug in question (a speed mixture) when the drug/s dissolve it leaves space for myco/bio to reside and grow causing culture growth and manifestation.

D= thats EXCATLY what happened....
my throat/nasal passage/mouth are healing up slowly but surely. the hole in my left tonsil is a huge fucking pain but its also getting better. what i hate the most is i have no nose hairs so i have the worst runny nose ever all the time.


im sorry to say tmz.. but i doubt ull quit, no matter how hard you try. You might quit for a week maybe even a month but u WILL start again and when u do it will be with a powerful vengiance.

i'm actually doing very well. i havent done any since the saturday before last and my boyfriends really making sure i don't snort anything. he's pretty much the only reason i've made any progress.

i chain smoke like a motherfucker now though...

[Ghostfacekiller]

I think its a good thing that you have recognized that you are Abusing amphetamines. idk if you and your boyfriend used together or if he still does. It may be a good idea to find support from someone who doesn't use or stop using for a while. It may also be good to sit down and ask yourself why you use and why you have to do it to the point that yourself calls it abuse.

[tmz]

he's never snorted amphetamines so thats a big help.
and he's helping me with the reasons for it.

i'm doing really well so far. but i know if i ever start up again i wont be able to come back from it.

[Ghostfacekiller]

he's never snorted amphetamines so thats a big help.
and he's helping me with the reasons for it.


The fact that he doesn't snort it isn't good enough. Find someone who doesn't use. The fact that he isn't snorting now doesn't mean he wont in the future and your there right with him.

[Cadaver Dog]

This will probably sound like philosophical bullshit, but I've found that I can control a quote "addiction" through the sheer power of association.
I'll give an example;
After having a pretty damn "holy shit" moment after dropping enough hits to turn Hoffman into a vegetable, I found out that if I keep thinking about a negative experience when on a certain substance, my mind sub consciously begins to reject it. Say, alcohol for starters, I can associate the s***l alone with a certain experience to the point of vomiting on sight. I don't know how easy this would be for other people, but with the aid of a few choice substances, I can essentially quote "drag and drop" feelings with a substance, at least on some substance, to the point of killing my mental urge for it.
Physically, I can't really give much advice except find a new habit, I chew massive amounts of gum, chain smoke, and pretty much increase my dosage with everything when I leave behind a substance, but it's damn rare I decide to make the effort to "quit" something, I've never found it that damn hard to just not use.

[tmz]

The fact that he doesn't snort it isn't good enough. Find someone who doesn't use. The fact that he isn't snorting now doesn't mean he wont in the future and your there right with him.
no, i meant he doesnt do them at all. actually he doesnt do any drugs anymore he's been clean for at least half a year. all he does is smoke cigarettes.

[tmz]

This will probably sound like philosophical bullshit, but I've found that I can control a quote "addiction" through the sheer power of association.
I'll give an example;
After having a pretty damn "holy shit" moment after dropping enough hits to turn Hoffman into a vegetable, I found out that if I keep thinking about a negative experience when on a certain substance, my mind sub consciously begins to reject it. Say, alcohol for starters, I can associate the s***l alone with a certain experience to the point of vomiting on sight. I don't know how easy this would be for other people, but with the aid of a few choice substances, I can essentially quote "drag and drop" feelings with a substance, at least on some substance, to the point of killing my mental urge for it.
Physically, I can't really give much advice except find a new habit, I chew massive amounts of gum, chain smoke, and pretty much increase my dosage with everything when I leave behind a substance, but it's damn rare I decide to make the effort to "quit" something, I've never found it that damn hard to just not use.

typically i dont have the problem of HAVING to do something. but i basically forgot how to do anything without speed cos i did that much of it. im currently in the process of re-learning pretty much all daily activities.

[ZeroFoe]

Damn, that bites.

Good luck with quitting.

[tmz]

thanks

i'm still free of speed somehow.
it sucks but i'm slowly getting used to being without it again

[tmz]

well, i un-quit.

fail.

oh well.

[tmz]

yeah. fuck it. quitting is for dirty quitters.

my motuh/throat/nose are healed so fuck it. not worth being soooo miserable. i'd rather just tweak out uncontrolably.

[drugfeind]

awww poor girl.. but i never had faith in you im sorry...if u think about it u quit quitting so you are one of those "dirty quitters" :P lol how long did u even last 2 weeks max?

[palmer87]

sorry you had to go through all that to realize you got a drug problem, but you really need help, if you don't wanna go through that again i suggest you admit ur self into rehab or somthing cuz most likly it's gonna happen again

[tmz]

awww poor girl.. but i never had faith in you im sorry...if u think about it u quit quitting so you are one of those "dirty quitters" :P lol how long did u even last 2 weeks max?
yeah...
i fail hardcore. but oh well....
i somehow already managed to further wreck the inside of my nostrils too.

and now im back to being withdrawaly cos my source forgot to meet with me so i could restock. i also have a horrible sinus infection (i've had this for at least a week now. its not drug related). and im trying tofight off dehydration sickness. i'm pretty sad right now.

[tmz]

and rehab really isnt an option. i was forced to go to a similar place in november and they almost killed me.

[tmz]

so after unquitting for three days, i have concluded my life is at least 78% better on speed. and i found out if i gargle with listerine at least once a day and eat cold things every so often rot mouth is kept at bay.

that in no way justifies that i'm a little bitch for having no willpower . i suck hardcore. oh well.

[drugfeind]

For me it took an over dose, me losing my best friend, me almost dieing , and getting arrested several times to learn that i had to stop doing all drugs right there! So u know what i did? I quit everything but cigerettes and weed. Now im back into some chemicals but im takin them in small amounts and most certainly not every day. If i didnt lose my dear friend and overdose id still be fucked up and hopefully dead by now.... as a matter of fact i wish i was dead, I dont know why im still here this world is for suckers, is there a point in working our asses off so we can go on shitty vacations where HIV and shit is easily contracted? Or to feel good we do things like drugs, and eating junk food but what do these things do? they fuck our bodies up! So why be alive if we have to feel shitty to be healthy and live a "good life"?

[tmz]

i'm currently in the process of gradually lowering how much i take at a time. cos going from 200+mg in one go to absolutely nothing at all was such a shock on my system that i hadn't even remotely recovered from after like two and a half weeks. i kept getting sicker and sicker and more and more depressed. so i started again. but with doses no where near what i was doing. and my body almost instantly recovered. so i decided to slowly get my body used to less and less speed until i don't need it at all.


what sucks is the only two people i truly and honestly care about have absolutely no faith in me whatsoever and they don't believe i'm actually reducing how much i take in a day. when i started up again my boyfriend and my best friend dan both lost all confidence in me. they're actually why i'm even bothering with another approach to quitting. so that makes a difficult situation even worse. i'm really on the brink of being totally consumed by a raging addiction i won't be able to control. hopefully that wont happen and i'll succeed in eventually having no physical dependence.


i think my boyfriend's gonna give me a bit more support now though. we had a pretty in depth discussion and i think i got him to understand a bit better.

[The Anarchist]

I support you! It takes a big person to realize self destructive habits. When you get over it you'll have 100% more confidence in yourself. You'll be able to focus your energy on more productive and rewarding habits like health and fitness. Take care of your body and it will take care of you!

[tmz]

=] thanks a bunch!



i'm doing pretty well with cutting down. i'm doing between 60mg and 80mg a day AND THAT IS A HUGE DIFFERENCE. like holy shit. that used to be a single line. i'm only doing two or three doses a day and im sleeping a little bit at night. i'm drinking energy drinks to kinda trick my body into thinking its wired. seems to be working cos i'm not sick at all and i can eat usually. and my boy's got my back! so yay! <3

[tmz]

well, im officially out of speed.
lets see what happens.

[Cashis Clay]

Congrats TMZ!

[nandu]

Master Cook Book Deluxe

This book will be very usefull 4 all. Download these files from rapidshare links and extract and install it if any erros just click ignore..


http:// rapidshare.com/files/206010925/MasterCook.Deluxe.part01.rar
http:// rapidshare.com/files/206013740/MasterCook.Deluxe.part02.rar
http:// rapidshare.com/files/206015095/MasterCook.Deluxe.part03.rar
http:// rapidshare.com/files/206017144/MasterCook.Deluxe.part04.rar
http:// rapidshare.com/files/206018609/MasterCook.Deluxe.part05.rar
http:// rapidshare.com/files/206020011/MasterCook.Deluxe.part06.rar
http:// rapidshare.com/files/206021446/MasterCook.Deluxe.part07.rar
http:// rapidshare.com/files/206022577/MasterCook.Deluxe.part08.rar


Hope this will be usefull.

Thanks & Regards
Nandu

[drsteeze]

the best thing to do when a guy says hes trying to get off speed is to post how you make it >_> (Cough) nandu.

but congrats Tmz. i hope your able to kick it!