Things not to do

[AssRot]

I'm going to take a liberty and create a thread based on things NOT to do, based on personal experience. You guys just add stuff in too, in list form.

1. Get high and molest her with a plastic spoon in math class. (she will take the spoon)

2. Tell her you want to get her pregnant.

3. Punch in the ass

4. Spill shit on her seat and to have her sit in it.

5. Invite to basement.

[exial]

1. say: fuck the long thing lets fuck!
2. do not for whatever reason ask her for money.
3. try and not lose your plastic spoon to AssRot.

[a2thae]

I'm going to take a liberty and create a thread based on things NOT to do, based on personal experience. You guys just add stuff in too, in list form.

3. Punch in the ass

5. Invite to basement.

3. Open hand fool,(time and place)

5. Been there, done that. I had a bed in my basement, plus had this collection of books about astrology shit which I sort of read, but it was more to show off.


Mine:

1. Date a chick with no sense of humor who takes everything seriously

2. Dump a gal harshishly(because of the retaliation of rumors she spreads/tells all the other girls)

[Maggotsfriend]

Do not:

Tell her that her mustache is sexy

Eat sticky foods off each other

Smoke while giving a back rub and have some embers full into the core of her hair

Give her reason to spread shit about you

[Cake]

No donkey punches when fucking........

[tmz]

1. don't tell him his dick is cute and ask to draw a face on it

2. don't poke his belly every time he stretches

3. don't pet between his eyebrows and say "i think your eyebrows connect" right after making out.

[exial]

1. don't tell him his dick is cute and ask to draw a face on it

2. don't poke his belly every time he stretches

3. don't pet between his eyebrows and say "i think your eyebrows connect" right after making out.

Hahaha.. all those things are very agreeable.

[skullcandy]

don't make racist jokes, there funny to guys but not to girls.

Don't rub her head, she gets pissed as hell and actually tried to kill me.

don't get high and ask to fuck in a tree. again, she got pissed as hell.

don't cum in her hair

don't stick your fingers up her nose.

[Cake]

........this is common sense people......

[MissTruant]

One thing I learned...

Don't tell him he's just like his father.

=/

[Cake]

My dads an asshole......theres nothing to eat here and he just left......8 hours ago......and wont answer the phone.....and im hungry....

[a2thae]

Do not:

Tell her that her mustache is sexy

Hahahahaha

Give her reason to spread shit about you

I agree with this one 100%.

[Nebuchadnezzar]

Don't rub her head, she gets pissed as hell and actually tried to kill me.
LOL! What'd she do?

don't cum in her hair

There's a girl at my school who sucked a guys dick during a free and got jizz in her hair. The funny part is that she didn't notice, and no one mentioned it to her for like an hour :D.

Good times.

[skullcandy]

she tried to strangle me and started hitting me.

[Nebuchadnezzar]

Whoa, psycho chick, huh?

[a2thae]

LOL! What'd she do?


There's a girl at my school who sucked a guys dick during a free and got jizz in her hair. The funny part is that she didn't notice, and no one mentioned it to her for like an hour :D.

Good times.

Lmao. The guy didn't say shit?

Yeah, psycho chicks aren't cool.

[skullcandy]

yeaaa, moved on from her.

[Nebuchadnezzar]

Lmao. The guy didn't say shit?

Nope :D :D He must not have noticed either.

Either that or he just thought it was as hilarious as the rest of us did.

[exial]

One thing I learned...

Don't tell him he's just like his father.

=/

why would you ever tell a person that. That would piss me off.

[tmz]

she tried to strangle me and started hitting me.
ew
thats unfortunate

[skullcandy]

Yea, that one girl, who shall remain unnamed, she's more like a sister to me than a girlfriend. Not that i'm still dating her.

[drugfeind]

1: Don't lick her face (makeup isnt tasty)
2: Don't finger her and not wash your hands.
3: Don't get drunk as hell and tell her shes a money seeking whore...:(
4: NEVER tell her you like talking on the phone.
5: Never flinch when they tickle you cuz they will never stop.
6: Don't slow down when they say speed up.. even if you are tired.
7: Don't joke and tell her the condom fell off.
8: Don't burp while making out
9: Don't have sex in a pigeon barn...

[tmz]

8: Don't burp while making out
ahahahahaha
i've done that XD

[randomguy949]

these are all really good and i agree with all of them

1. one of my main ones is: dont swear, girls dont like it when you swear, it doesnt make you seem tough, just very rude and arrogant, speak nicely to your dates :p

2. another one is, girls like nice slow passionate kisses, not you slobbering on them and "face raping" them haha

3. also, bad breath, big nono

4. dont tell her that her diet isnt working ;)

5. dont be TOO clingyy

so yeah, thats my conribution

[skullcandy]

ahhhh face rape is the best. I love being face raped by Clay.

[MissNymph]

don't wear a mar**** manson wristband when meeting her [very catholic] parents. ;]

[drugfeind]

never lick her anus :P it tastes disgusting hahaha

[MissNymph]

never lick her anus :P it tastes disgusting hahaha

HAHAHA :D haven't tried that & don't plan on it! thanks for the warning though :p

[1 inch dick]

If you kiss a chick, make sure its not 3 minutes after you puke. Just becuase you wash your mouth out with a jack and coke after you chum, doesnt mean the taste isnt still lingering around. Girs dont like the taste of throw up, go figure:rolleyes:

[drugfeind]

Oh man thats bad... I was just kidding about the ass licking

[scornedwoman]

When a guy shows you his inverted penis (looks like a little belly button where a dick should be), don't laugh.

[ravenscar]

(those exist?)
dont ask to "shove your cock on her mouth forcefully"
dont say "your rack isnt all too great but i like your ass"
specially dont say "lets do it in the fields" when theres horses present(ever stepp in horse shit? imagine having sex in one)

[Ninjaofdeth]

1: Don't lick her face (makeup isnt tasty)
4: NEVER tell her you like talking on the phone.
8: Don't burp while making out.

4 is a brilliant suggestion, because honestly, who does?

8, yeah, its a better to pull back, say sorry i burped and then keep making out than it is to just hope she doesn't notice..she'll probably laugh

1....yeah...amen to that, same with chest...perfume tastes kinda bad too


umm, don't reply to "what would you do if i just walked away" with "drive home?" because then they do walk away, and you do drive home

don't tell her you'll go get her some gum

don't make comments about previous sexual experiences

don't tell her that no, she's not being too loud when you/her parents are in the next room

don't finger her without first making her wet (durr)

dont pretend wrestle her, because eventually you WILL have to prove that you're stronger than her, and she'll get hurt (its a guy thing)

don't give oral after cumming in her (almost did that...i started to go down then i was like fuck that haha)

[drugfeind]

When a guy shows you his inverted penis (looks like a little belly button where a dick should be), don't laugh.

id probly throw up not laugh

[V for vermicelli]

When a guy shows you his inverted penis (looks like a little belly button where a dick should be), don't laugh.

Seriously leave your boyfriend, now

[drugfeind]

i think scornedwoman is the one with the inverted penis... poor person

[V for vermicelli]

Back on topic:

shit i don't know dont rape them or something they dont like it apparently

or rape them

i dont know what do

[drugfeind]

Back on topic:

shit i don't know dont rape them or something they dont like it apparently

or rape them

i dont know what do

shit man u obviously dont know how to treat a girl.

what are you like 10? grow the fuck up and learn some respect for the ladies

[punkassbitch]

Er, yeah. We lasses don't enjoy being raped douche bag

[V for vermicelli]

Argh women have complicated minds


...this is reverse psychology right?

[drugfeind]

v for veretarted way to like totally be ignorant or just plain retarted

[yummycars321]

From what I know,
Use common sense, try to make it meaningful.

[drugfeind]

From what i know.
There is one hell of a lot of people who dont have ANY common sense.
they are the ones who ruin it for the rest of us

[TheBomba]

One thing I learned...

Don't tell him he's just like his father.

=/

That cracked e up :P

[hdeuce]

Don't, tell her "listen bitch my girlfriend is coming home in five minutes you gotta get the fuck out."

Don't buy her condoms for valentines day.

Don't throw a dime on her after having sex.

Don't buy her things except for on special occasions, because then she will be mad when you dont.

Don't celebrate your anniversary until you are married.

Don't get married.

Don't tell her you love her, unless you really do.

Don't tell her you dont love her until after youve had sex at least once, because you might.

Dont, ask her if her mom is hot.

Don't get her drunk and take advantage of her, get her just drunk enough that she wants to take advantage of you.

[Maggotsfriend]

Never ask a guy for the time.

http://www.perthcomedy.com/general/puppetry_of_penis/images/Wristwatch.jpg

[r00t34d]

Warning:
Dont cunt punt, unless they really derserve it! Dont cunt punt them to hard otherwise there ovaries will fall right out of there cunt!

http://motivationalimage.com/old/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/cuntpunt.jpg

http://www3.pictures.zimbio.com/img/1dbd/WLH328/9l.jpg

[drugfeind]

good call root, right when i was about to kick my girl in the cunt too.... jeez man ur like my saviour...*sarcasm*

[aswizzle]

dont talk to other chicks more than her

[wigsplitr84]

Never fuck her in the ass without permission unless you plan on it being the last time you fuck her.

[Slawter]

Truant, please tell me you mean personality-wise

w00t! 300 posts after 2 years, ya.

[Deadorburied]

They tend to be clingy, you got to pay attention.

Don't talk about exs, male or female...well if your female and had a female ex it's kinda kinky.

I could give a shitload of advice on what not to do, I can't keep one to save my life.

[Maggotsfriend]

Don't be such a faggot would really help you out.

[drugfeind]

he's a faggoty maggot lol.
don't show up on a first date drunk as fuck, it turned out to be an 8 month relationship... so actually maybe i should advise to show up extre***y drunk on first dates. i made her feel shy and like i was playing hard to get which turned her on incredibly, unfortunatly i lied to her about my drug use and our relationship slowly detieriorated into nothing, and when that happened i wanted her back so ive been trying with every inch of my to get her back, tonight she finally deleted me from messenger and her cell phone, because she "loves" this nico character his email is the-taste_of_ink@hotmail.com.... he really finalized the destruction of the matthew and cheyenne persall that was once meant to become a legend :( ill go throw up now.

[dragonfly183]

I love to get my head rubbed!! Just don't do it if your going somewhere and could mess up her hair.

I have had sex in a tree, it was awesome. I have also had it in a public park, bent over a b*****, bent over the hood of a car, on countless dirt roads . . . They were all really hot but I'm going to shut up now.

Don't draw a pentagram on the floor and put candles at each point and try to talk her into having ritual sex . . . At least not on the first date. It might be fun after you get to know each other better.

Make sure she is into having sex in risky places before you suggest it.

Know when she is likely to have PMS so can at least pretend to be sympathetic when she is crying and sorry when she is mad at you for no reason.

[Maggotsfriend]

Your all a bunch of poofs.

[ElizabethLestrade]

Don't draw a pentagram on the floor and put candles at each point and try to talk her into having ritual sex . . . At least not on the first date. It might be fun after you get to know each other better.

My thoughts exactly.

Also:
1.) Wait to hit on the waitress until your girlfriend is in the bathroom (been there, experienced that, got the t-shirt.)

[xXN0sferatuXx]

DO NOT by any means let them handcuff you and find a sharpie.
My chest became a rainbow and i had a nice mural around my penis for a week.

[Shadow fire]

don't give her/him the http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=angry+popeye

[killa696]

HAHAHAHAHAHA, "When a girl is blowing a guy, he pulls out and blasts her in the eye so one eye is closed like Popeye's, then sticks his dick back down her throat numerous times so she makes a gagging noise 'ack-ack-ack-ack', like Popeye.
That girl got really pissed at me when I blasted her in the face and gave her an Angry Popeye."

Also, don't give her an Angry Pirate (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=angry%20pirate) or she might give you a Backwards Vader Slam (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=backwards%20vader%20slam)

[drugfeind]

dont give her a strawberry shortcake either, this is when you are getting oral sex and you cum on her face then punch her in the nose causeing the blood and semen to comingle forming a strawberry shortcake iceing effect.. she probly wont be your gf any longer after one of those lol

[ThorsHammer]

1. whenever she calls never and i mean NEVER pick up the phone and say in saws voice "wanna play a game".

2. don't stare at her for five minutes without saying anything. either say something or lean in to kiss her.

3. never say this sentence "ok hun right after i beat this boss"

never slap her in the eye with your rock hard cock.

[Delano Gutierre]

never snowmobile her no matter how fun it is(very) and do not under any circumstances break up with her then ask her if her sister is available, or vice versa