Top 5 things in Porn that annoys me

[Zamato Elite]

Ever watch a porno and everything was just perfect, well, except for maybe one or two things. Did those two things just completely ruin the porno for you? Well if you answered yes, then congratulations, this post is for you! In this post, I will list the top 5 ways to ruin a porno! Enjoy.

#5: Horrible Blow jobs

Honestly, blow jobs aren't that hard. All you have to do is put the fucking dick in your mouth and suck. Maybe incorporate a few flashy tongue tricks from time to time. It really is that easy. In many pornos, some girls just can't handle it. They give that grossed out gagging look once they put the dick in their mouth. That expression is an instant deal breaker for me. -"GIRL, you're in a fucking porno! Sucking dick should not be gross to you!!!"- Another thing that annoys me is the "bobber" blowjob. That is the type of blowjob where the girl just sticks the dick in her mouth and just bobbes her head up and down. First of all, those blow jobs don't feel good at all. They feel like nothing actually. Secondly, they are *****g as fuck. -"You are in a porno, entertain me god dammit. Show us some confidence and some cool tricks."-

#4: The Lazy Guy

I fucking hate this more then anything!!! The guy who just sits their while the girl is desperately trying to fuck him. -"Here is a fucking tip: Actually put some effort into your god damn job! FUCK THE GIRL!! Don't just sit there on your fat lazy ass while the girl desperately tries create friction between you and your puny little dick. You have to actually move to! I know sorry, you have to do work! I'm so sorry!"-

#3: The Ugly Penis

When I watch porn, I usually am paying more attention to the girl then the guy. But sometimes the guy is so fucking weird I can't help but critique him. One thing that annoys me to no end, is a small or deformed penis. -"Here is an idea: if you don't have a good looking dick, THEN DON'T GET INTO PORN!!!"- I absolutely hate it when the girl is fantastic looking, she is horny, ready to go, and the guy then whips out his puny little 4 incher cock. -"How is the girl going to do anything interesting with a fucking 4 incher?!1 Here is the answer: SHE CAN'T!!! If you dick is small or just fucking ugly, don't enter porn. You detract me from the fucking girl!!!!"-

#2: Blatantly Fake Orgasm

Most girls (And porn stars apparently) have this incredibly deluded notion that guys can't tell when girls are faking or legitimately having an orgasm. I'll be honest, most girls can fool me pretty well, but sometimes it get's to a point where you are obviously faking. In porn, most of the orgasms are so obviously faked it really really takes away from the experience. I mean, honestly, how stupid do you think we are? The second the penis enters your vagina, I doubt you are going to be instantly screaming and twitching in "beautiful agony." In my opinion, obviously fake orgasms take so much away from the porno. Real orgasms give the porno a more genuine feel, which makes the fantasy portrayed more realistic and believable. -"I'll even make a deal with you: You can fake your orgasms if you must, but for the love of god, please fake them well! Don't make it so obvious that you are a fake no talent cunt. At least try to hide it a little."-

#1: The Guy Who Won't Shut the Fuck up!!!

This is my number one pet peeve. The guy who doesn't stop talking; to the point where he is annoying and distracting. I only like pornos where the guy shuts the fuck up and let's the girl do the talking. Especially in POV movies. The point of POV is to give the illusion that the girl is actually fucking you. When you have a guy blabbering his mouth the whole time, it really really takes away from the experience. Don't get me wrong, he can talk from time to time. Dirty talk is always welcome, but not every other second. Just shut the hell up and let the girl do the talking. Girls talking dirty in a porno is great, very good, but the guy doing it... Not so great. Kinda creepy, and also borderline gay. -"So do me a favor, drop the attention seeking ego for 10 minutes while you fuck this girl, or I WILL turn this video off and look elsewhere. Thanks asshole!!!!"-


I hope you enjoyed this post. Of course there are other things that annoy me in a porno. One of many examples is poor audio quality and/or poor camera angles. Below, please tell me what you think and be sure to post your top 5 annoyances in pornos.

Sincerely,

[deathlord888]

#1 for sure

[MissTruant]

I just want to say... amazing.

Aha, because this is all so true. But in honest reality - all penises are ugly. Find me a woman who thinks otherwise and I'll revoke that statement.

My pet peeves for porn?

Stop making weird fucking faces towards the camera, and quit being so shiny. The amount of make-up worn by some of these pornstars is creepy.

Scripts for porno? I don't give two shits about a plot, or climax (no pun intended haha), just fuck already.

Too much time spent giving a blowjob. In my opinion, ok they're great and everything (doesn't really do anything for me watching one though), but so many pornos spent way too much time on this.

The guy not shutting up (as already said) - especially if he is some weirdly beefcaked guy with long hair.

Just a girl speculating on porn... but everything up there I agree with. o.O

[AssRot]

Dude. That list was like I wrote it! Spot on! ...but one thing you left off. I cant STAND when there is too much man in the frame. Like I never want to see man ass or man face while I'm stimulating myself. But honestly the worst thing ever is the guy talking too much.

[MissTruant]

It's hard for me to get into porn that much anyway. Girls will sit and watch porn and 10 minutes later be like...

Fuck this, I'd rather go recreate it.

[tmz]

i cannot deal with an ugly penis ahahahahaha
this thread made my day <3

[deathlord888]

It's hard for me to get into porn that much anyway. Girls will sit and watch porn and 10 minutes later be like...

Fuck this, I'd rather go recreate it.

yes but this is much easier for girls to get

[Nebuchadnezzar]

(assuming you mean that porn is easier for girls to get)

for some girls, sure, but for her? I fucking doubt it.

[deathlord888]

i am talking about sex

[GunMetal]

Omfg ugly dicks are fucking rank, My mate had this porno once and the guy looked like a fucking witches hat (Or road cone, those tall orange things)

[AvengedX7]

Yeah i gotta agree dicks are ugly, but vags can get the "meat curtain" effect or "chipped ham" or "A box of cow tounges" as dane cook would say.

Most porn sucks, and deffinately numero uno

[freetibet]

a box of cow tongues? lol

[BlAcCbArBi3101]

#5 is the truth though
Girls just look like they are just bobbin off
They make me look like a pro
(Which i am)
But any ways they dont show you nothing new
Cause everytime i watch porn its some thing i already done
and mastered at .Like damn
i feelz you wit that one though

[gheox]

i fucking hate fakers

[Wolkkkk]

It's hard for me to get into porn that much anyway. Girls will sit and watch porn and 10 minutes later be like...

Fuck this, I'd rather go recreate it.

Well that`s because women and men are fundamentaly diffrent. Women need sex and loving and men need release that they wont go and kill people. It`s also hard to please a women in sex so masturbation is a great option too. Like when you are fucking and you have to think about horrible stuff not to come before women. Like women thinks about butterflies and stuff while i have to think about a killed hobo with a dog shit smeared on his face.

[a2thae]

Well that`s because women and men are fundamentaly diffrent.

Yes.

Women need sex and loving and men need release that they wont go and kill people

No.

It`s also hard to please a women in sex

Hahaha maybe for a few people (such as yourself).

i have to think about a killed hobo with a dog shit smeared on his face.

That's pretty fucked up man...fantasizing about beastiality is like crossin a line.

[Wolkkkk]

Yes.



No.



Hahaha maybe for a few people (such as yourself).



That's pretty fucked up man...fantasizing about beastiality is like crossin a line.

Haha. Oh i can please a women believe me. But you know when you are coming? It`s like the universe is telling you to realease the joy. But yeah because you love the twat you got to think about her too.

Do you think i like to think about horrible things during sex? Hell if i wouldnt care about the women i would just cum in her eye and call it a day or something.

[deathlord888]

you know you can actually go longer if you just focus on how great it is and not worry about when you are about it go

[Wolkkkk]

you know you can actually go longer if you just focus on how great it is and not worry about when you are about it go

Nope. dont work like that. I like cumming. I rub one out before and after sex =)

[deathlord888]

haha ya but if you focus on how good it is you last longer AND it feels better

[JohnDoe93]

Porn is supposed to make you hard and able to get off quickly, it's not a documentary! :D

[RebelBass]

my belief is that their shouldn't be any talking in porn

[Buddha]

There shouldn't be any noises made by the men, lol

[Krist]

Like women thinks about butterflies and stuff while i have to think about a killed hobo with a dog shit smeared on his face.
I think I just laughed the hardest I ever have at something on ACB.


But yeah, I hate when the guy grunts when he's fucking the girl. It's really distracting.

[Cobbler]

lol, here here my friend

[stageninja91]

i would say #2 bugs me the most cause thats what i come across more, its fucking annoying

[V for vermicelli]

My biggest turn off is when the camera goes down to show she has a penis

[ravenscar]

wtf!!!?!?!well that will turn off any guy but maggot and i think total anarchy(didnt he say he was gay somewhere?ill edit this if im wrong).
anyways what i hate about porn is no mater what you look up, it will be there,3 million times, till you get pissed off and horny

[Akhyll]

Slim girls (BBW poooowwaaaa !!)
Fake giant tits
Men who take their socks on (i really hate them !!)
Lame scenarii/dialogues (Hello, I'm here ti fix the pipe...)
The fact that girls don't having sex, they're making aerobic (1,2,3, fatest...)

[madmanmike]

#1 absloutly, But it pisses me off more when he has to ask her questions 24/7, not just make annoying comments, or even worse, is when you have ANOTHER guy or girl in the video WHO WON'T SHUT UP, not just the cameraman.

[Palmer]

Porn is supposed to make you hard and able to get off quickly, it's not a documentary! :D

Hahahaha, good way to put it.
You win an internets.

I don't get into porn very much for all five of those reasons. Very rarely will I ever watch it- even when I'm alone.

[cantstopusnow]

hahaha..has anybody played the "most fucked up porn game" with someone? you have a competition where you go and find the most disgusting messed up porn video possible.. i lost last time..he found an ugly trany fucking a decapitated horse head and rubbing blood all over

[ravenscar]

who post all te porn on the internet, whoever they are i hate them

[cantstopusnow]

well its a fairy simple business as long as you avoid Horrible Blow jobs, The Lazy Guy, The Ugly Penis, Blatantly Fake Orgasm and The Guy Who Won't Shut the Fuck up!!!. there is always going to be people who who look at it.

[ravenscar]

why is it fairy simple?
and i mean its clogging up the search engienrs

[cantstopusnow]

whats harder. recording people havening sex. or taking orders at Mcdicks? yea it is clogging up all the search engines, music downloading and anything on the internet for the most part..if the internet was categorized like this website is with subject folders and the sub folders that would be amazing

[Akhyll]

One thing <i hate in porn, it's when I'm watching one while touching my self and some one come inthe room without advice... :p :D

[ravenscar]

facepalm, why the fuck would you post on a thread saying your masterbating to porn

[V for vermicelli]

facepalm, why the fuck would you post on a thread saying your masterbating to porn

Yeah, don't want to lose our E-spect now do we

If you don't like porn just turn on google safety filter, heck buy parental locks for your computer if you're such a pussy you can't stand seeing pictures of people having sex

[Akhyll]

facepalm, why the fuck would you post on a thread saying your masterbating to porn
Still a sweet pleasure to be called a facepalm by a douchebag...
And why watching porn, if you're not masturbating ? For the scenario ? Are you the kind of guy who say "I buy Playboy for the interview" ? Little porky....

[Buddha]

My name is buddha and I masturbate to internet porn.

[Xon]

Yes you do.....

[V for vermicelli]

Still a sweet pleasure to be called a facepalm by a douchebag...
And why watching porn, if you're not masturbating ? For the scenario ? Are you the kind of guy who say "I buy Playboy for the interview" ? Little porky....

"I buy the Sun to read interesting articles of news"


edit: on another note me and a number of individuals are taking part in the "no-fap september" event as a personal challenge

it's been over 48 hours, i think i'm dying...

[ravenscar]

Still a sweet pleasure to be called a facepalm by a douchebag...
And why watching porn, if you're not masturbating ? For the scenario ? Are you the kind of guy who say "I buy Playboy for the interview" ? Little porky....

no. porn is for loser 14 year olds that post masturbating furiously,jizzing all over
Yeah, don't want to lose our E-spect now do we

If you don't like porn just turn on google safety filter, heck buy parental locks for your computer if you're such a pussy you can't stand seeing pictures of people having sex
fuck man i got the filter on strict and thats all i get

[Xon]

liar .

[ravenscar]

it says SafeSearch: Strict ▼

[V for vermicelli]

it says SafeSearch: Strict ▼

Ahaha, you have safesearch on


and you're calling other people 14 year old losers

[ravenscar]

i think its a glitch.....it doesnt pull up porn on any of my other comps

[skittleskitten]

when the girl moans, i fucking hate that shit, most porn stars are lazy fat fucks who are probably going to burn in hell, the last thing I want to hear is them fucking moaning, get a fucking job u fucking fat lazy pieces of shit.

[Xon]

No, you like the little kids that scream don't you.

[V for vermicelli]

I hate it keeps showing the man pulling dumbass faces and he keeps making faggot assed comments and questions

[Art Rebel]

hmm. Xon you may be correct.

[Xon]

I know I am....

[skittleskitten]

only if I made them scream.

[Xon]

Of course .

[ehballa001]

Haha, finally someone who understands me.

And #1 definitely is the worst thing ever!