sia yAnnAsh

[Exploding_viper]

im bored, struggling with depression more and more as the year goes on.
never been hi or tweaking on anything but ive been drunk.
im 6 foot 1 and 185 lbs. im really athletic and i play football, im in track, and i lift weights when ever i can.
i stay mostly in the bullshit, politics, and enlightened individuals pages.
i turn 15 this October 13 and am looking forward to it so i can take drivers ed next semester. im not even 16 but i try to be as non immature as possible.
im really calm and laid back. so i dont get in alot of fights, but im firends with everyone.
i remember how noobish i was at the begging of my regimen as a member of this site

and if you were wonderin, the language of the thread title is the language of my ancestors, choctaw. it says i am buffalo but i can get the right characters in there

[exial]

hmmm...soo. what purpose did you see when you poured your heart out to everyone on this site?

[superflysuperwhite]

i swear you change your age as much as someone with loose bowles changes their underwear

[Shanx]

i swear you change your age as much as someone with loose bowles changes their underwear

That has to be one of the funniest things I've ever heard.

You should really get high once in a while. It relieves stress...at least for me.

[exial]

Viper, this wasnt even a discussional thread..Its just a very uninteresting biography about yourself.

[Exploding_viper]

well ok i felt i needed to contribute to this and im not gonna post anything really serious cuz yall would probly think im bullshittin yall anyways

[WEENIS]

ahhhh... BIG TATANKA!

[techtiger]

im not sure what your looking for with this thread? half of it was like you wanted help the other was like a dating profile?

[Exploding_viper]

nope just giving a introductory o the many dimensions and staircases to my mind and soul

[techtiger]

hmmm ok i guess... not sure what the hell im going to do with any of that information cus but alright what the hell you gotta do

[Exploding_viper]

hmmm ok i guess... not sure what the hell im going to do with any of that information cus but alright what the hell you gotta do

what you mean what i gotta do

[exial]

nope just giving a introductory o the many dimensions and staircases to my mind and soul

wow kinda deep. alright back that post up.

[Exploding_viper]

the first book i read in the 7th grade was animal farm by george orwell. the second thing i read was a not from a girl.
i dont fight over things like when someone says "yo nicka, u stepted on ma jays beoch" stupid shit that wont matter in a year, or even a week.
i view things in a 3rd person perspective, especically the things that happen to me personally, but i have to ability to devote my full pasion to anything or anyone i choose.
i dont trust people and i usually get betrayed, i realize this yet i give out chances to people that i know will probly lie, cheat, and steal, just to study the way they act.
i like rap but i dont like the road its goin down.
i like rock but i dont like the screamin and th darkness that comes with it.
i like explosives but i am not a big fan of guns, i would rather use nifes.
i dunno its hard to explain

[exial]

yea...try to explain though no one will flame you dude.
Sometimes i feel like everyone around me is an industrial slave to society, and they dont even know it. Its just programmed in their mind, to become a respected member of society "aka"- industrial slave. And they create a goverment soo complicated that fighting back it basically futile. Cuz fighting the system from inside is what eventually destroys you. So everone is going with the flow, and cuz everyone is going with the flow im against it. I rather swim the other direction. And becuz of that people look at me strangely. Classify me as wierd cuz i choose to follow my own principles. I fucking hate this world.

[Exploding_viper]

its like i used to live in the city, and the girls didnt need a man and were smart and all that and could do whatever.
i am in a small town, and the girls try hard, but dont really care, and subconsciously, they are raised to try to find a dude that they think can get out of the small town and latch on to him by any means necessary. it they get pregnant, then its marrige, if the man leaves, they get welfare.

the blacks steal and lie and cheat to make it through school, and to get money, and they see me with alot of nice stuff (im 15 as of October 13) and they say "us nickaz are poor we caint get no job" and i say i worked to get the money and you sat around and smoked weed all summer.

the cowboys and the rednecks sit around in their 1970's trucks drinkin moonshine and talkin about the FFA and country things, but work hard and get little, and ask me "why do we, me and you, word just as hard and you get more than me?" and the best reply i can muster was that i am an extortionist.

im a freshman, and in algebra we are working on the breakdown of equations (adding/subtracting and multiplying/dividing) and they struggle and get Fs and Ds, and i get As and im like the guy the come to for help cuz its "sooooo hard"

i dont get in alot of fights, but i do have self-confidence. im quiet, but not docile, and i view nearly all situation from a 3rd person perspective. so im the go to guy for advice.

i feel emotionally detached half the time so i dont feel guilt, rage, envy, hate, pain, fear, so im the ass that doesn't understand "how someone feels:, but when you say you know how they feel, do you really?

i cant feel happiness, justification, satisfaction , passion, redemption, glory half the time, so im the depressed ass who takes things to serious, but with what i realize at my age, how can i not be serious alot.
while all my friends read XXL, black men, and hustler, im reading art of war by sun tzu, or animal farm by George Orwell, but ive probably fucked more girls than them, but i havent had my dick sucked once, and they walk around with saliva residue from that morning on their dicks.

i realize that while we say prayer at my public school at every assembly, that even the 3 jews and 2 Muslims we have bow their head because they are afraid to get jumped and called terrorists and Antichrist.

i walk around blarin my headphones in the halls at school but the teachers dont say a word to me because i am one of the few that respect them, no matter who they are and how much of an asshole they are, but i dont fall into the lil wayne and flo rida that they listen to.

im the crazy one because i say what i feel and no more to who ii feel it necessary, but not rude, sexual, stupid, or hatin. just the blunt truth im not hated or punished, just one "crazy ass cracker mofo"

i probly sound like im braggin but o well i guess thats some of it in a little nutshell.
i guess it that my mind is totally different cuz ive seen just about all of the country except for the north east and i realize the shit that happens

[ItsAPoorlyKeptSecret]

well get it all out did you?? or will this be coming out on lifetime soon?? haha jk i can relate to the whole "emotionally detached thing" sort of

[exial]

i can, ecpecially when im in the city. You have to become emotionally detached with everyone, and everything.

[Exploding_viper]

well i cant really tell if its like ive locked down my emotions so i dont have to feel, or i dont know how and it overwhelmes me when i do and dont know what to do. and yes itsa, it does help to let it out to people with similar views and opinions that i will never meet in real life.

[exial]

That way you can make a fool of yourself and no-one will laugh at you. Their is some therapy in it but i have to say, talking to a person 1 to 1 totally kills the whole cyber therapy crap i was selling you.

[Exploding_viper]

really how?

[exial]

its hard to explain but i will try. It has to do with the one to one contact. You share with this person what your going through and this person can relate and understand what your faced with. Whoever this person is a friend or a family member, when you just have that one person who doesnt judge you for anything, the kind of person you can talk with, that is true healing viper. But speaking online with me for example. You dont even know me, and sharing your hurts and problems with me for example wont give you the satisfaction and understanding that your seeking for. Because the way we can interact with each other on the web is limited. Thats why everyone on this site gives the "baddass" know everything look when you speak to them, becuz they are afraid to show what they really think and feel. Thats why i got respect for you, cuz you arent afraid to let your thoughts be known.

[Exploding_viper]

yeah alot of okies are like that, but alot of them are assholes too. i appreciate your respect. i was like that, i acted all badass and kept everything bottled up and i ended up cutting my forearms and that made it worse.

[exial]

yea..no worrys respect is earned. And you earned mine.

[Exploding_viper]

thanks i am guessing its earned to earn